(to the tune of "If I Only Had a Brain")
By JENNA ORKIN
Oh I'd seem intelligenter
an authentic presidenter
in ways I can't explain
I could answer probing questions
and make sensible suggestions
if I only had a brain.
So let's bomb the evil axis
And do away with taxes
Though it might seem quite insane
Here's another great idea
We can just ignore Korea
since I haven't got a brain.
What the hey, let's drop a bomb
on - What's his name? - Saddam!
though it goes against the grain
'Cause while there's a war on
No one dares to call me 'moron'
I don't even need a brain.
Jenna Orkin is director
of the World Trade Center Environmental Organization